Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize