we have officially lost it.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
