That's when you crack a 10am beer
ugly people sure do ruin things
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
