Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
