If i come over, it means nothing
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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