And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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