Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
