I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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