but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
