Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
