He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
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I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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