Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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