Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
