You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
