fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
