I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize