He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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