Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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