ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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