put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
