he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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