So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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