just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
