I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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