Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
