my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
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i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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