Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
