i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
