Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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