watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
