Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
third nipple confirmed
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
