There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
