the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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