I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
