So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
