You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
