i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
