It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
