in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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