Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
