for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
As shirtless as possible
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
