matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
