he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
