I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize