Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
