Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
