so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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