quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
