worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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