Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
