So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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