Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm bleeding and have questions
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
