Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
