There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
