Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
