You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
