also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
