Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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