his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
