I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
