She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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